Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
