It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
