Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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