I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
