we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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