Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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