I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
