I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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