only if we run a train.
done.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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