Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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