is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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