he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
