I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
