since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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