i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
organizing the empties. That sober.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
