chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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