is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
