Im at strip club and am horny
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
