4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
