so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
