3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I need to stop coming to work sober
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
