I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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