So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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