Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
