I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
