Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so let's talk penis.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
