Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
