so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My life is pants optional.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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