so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
