Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
