Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
