Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
