Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
