Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
