I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
