YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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