I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
