nut hugger
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
