2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
