just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize