Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize