So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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