i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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