Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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