so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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