Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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