My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
