"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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