Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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