From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
