My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
