No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
