The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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