Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
