I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
