I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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